Screaming. Furious and frustrated he was. Yet, his screams only heard by himself.
Over the past few weeks, he was constantly thinking of the past he has been trying to bury. Now, It seems that his visits to psychologist were not enough for him to pull through his dark time.
At one point in his life, he started believing that human life might not be what he wanted to understand. People are not worthy of being helped! It’s either they didn’t want to change or wouldn’t be able to, he thought.
I am not a structured person. And I think too much.
The result would be me trying hard to sort myself out, taking more time than most of my peers do. They just seem to go through life smoothly. (I know they have their own difficulties, but let’s say that first person POV usually magnify our own issues)
I tried to find a coping mechanism to my own experiences. I was only aware that I needed to cope with my thoughts and emotions when I was in a stressful condition. When I was in the opposite, I wouldn’t even notice that I was actually wearing a different kind of approach. (I don’t seem to condemn happy moment, despite it being fleeting ones as well as the stressful one is)
Regardless, some of us spend our days thinking about our thought and feeling. Some vent it through talking. Some others do both.
For a few of us, analyzing our thought and feeling is not easy if we vent it through only talking-and-thinking. This is usually true when we are in an emotionally imbalance state. For example, we might act out of our emotions disregarding our conscious concerns of others and ourselves. It is aggravated by our limited memory.
Yet, talking and thinking about our feelings seems like a natural thing to do. It is easy.
But, is it a real way out? The vicious cycle of thinking-and-talking and feeling starts un-noticed. Suddenly we are trapped into time-consuming fruitless activity.
What to do then?
- By writing our thoughts down, we are putting most of our emotions aside. We view our thoughts as if we are the third parties, uninvolved in the turmoil, should it be one. We would still be biased, yet it would be pale in comparison to only think-and-talk.
- We are capturing the endless possibilities that our mind provides on stones (on paper or notes if you prefer so). Imagine going through a high maze with only map or compass (and the sky is actually pitch black). Our mind is only limited by our experiences and, sometimes, with the vast experiences we have, we might end up where we started. Yet, we might fail to know why.
- In harmony with #2, we are forced to structure our thinking pattern, in our unique way, without actually eliminating our thinking process.
- We can easily analyze and assess them as they are literally there waiting. If we are more inclined to have a discussion over our issues, good. Inputs from others might balance our emotional self. But, taking notes would help us remember later on.
- Free writing is a technique of letting our raw thoughts, emotions, feelings, etc. out. It helps us catapulting ourselves through the layers of apathy, self-criticism, resentment, anxiety, fear, guilt that we might have.
So, Write. Write. And write.
I questioned him if he still thinks we are to be blamed for our action or if there is actually something more to why we act. Would it be wrong to consider people to be malleable, even the worst we could think of would be able to change?
We conclude what we should do is to give them chance and then push them off the cliff. Oh, and I also told him, “If you want to be heard, do not scream when you were underwater.”
P.S. Feel free to comment or share with others what your coping mechanism is, when faced with either lovely conditions or stressing ones.