The firefighter sirens are ringing. Busy. Loud.

The chat between my colleagues and me comes to mind. We were talking about how different I dressed that day, better looking than usual. Exaggerating a bit, I went on blurting out “Oh, so I were ugly usually?” and “Fortunately, I don’t care what other says about me” lines (OK, the first line was pure kidding, although I forgot to thank her for her compliment!).

Being the wiser one, she said,

“Yes, that’s good. We should not let others’ comments bury us alive. We should do what we want, not what others want us to. But, don’t get it wrong, we should also be wise about that. It’s not like we should punch others just because we want to. And also, remember that not all comments are bad ones.”

Relating to the ‘comment’ part, another friend of mine once shared to me how she felt a bit uneasy being around particular coworkers.

I am not that familiar with her coworkers, but from her description, I could say that the people in her workplace might have been too direct. To better phrase it, they might have been too numb to feel.

I feel bad for her. The only advice I could think of giving her at that time was she should not let others wear her down. She could think of the little remarks shot at her as friendly words. She should think positively. And, finally, that she should be OK about herself.

I had never given a deep thought on that before, but I would like to ask you this:have you ever been commented on how you walk, how you sit, how you eat, or even how you sound when you are just trying to give your idea? Or have you ever been given, literally, a thumb down for doing your job?

Some of us might have been on the receiving end. Some might have been the givers. Some might have been both.

This particular experience got me thinking if there is something wrong with nowadays workplace. Reciting from the closest friend of mine:

Is it that we, either experienced or fresh out-of-college, are so accustomed to give our remarks on our coworkers’ personal aspects? That we have been so numb as to comment on others’ appearance, thinking it’s a concrete form of freedom of speech? That we have forgotten that people do feel? That we have forgotten why some remarks are so sensitive that they needed to be kept to ourselves?

Some of us are confident enough that we might not mind such comments on us. It’s a good thing. However, not all are as tough. Some of our coworkers might have been hurt by the comments. No matter how silly they are meant to be, they could have hurt them, unknown to us.

We might have hurt others, without intending to. I must have. Many times.

Some of us are confident enough that we might not mind such comments on us. It’s a good thing. However, not all are as tough. Some of our coworkers might have been hurt. No matter how silly they are meant to be, some words could have hurt them, unknown to us.

Not to mention if they were sharp remarks, specifically given towards one. Trust me, I know. I had been called “dumb/idiot” in front of everybody. So loudly that I could still recall it to this day. Thanks to the open office design, I am not deaf yet.

If we are the receivers, refrain from punching your colleague at work, and understand this quote from one of my colleagues:

“You know, there is this saying that only hurt people hurt people”

DP(Enough Is Enough) DP(Once Upon A Time) DP(In A Crisis) DP(Moved To Tears)

Photo credits: by Hannah K in https://www.flickr.com/photos/90692443@N05/

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3 thoughts on “Frustrated, Mad, and Sad (on The Act of Commenting)

  1. It wasn’t necessarily only happened in workplace. People do have different opinions on things, one comment won’t hurt other but another one will. The important thing is (IMO) to have consideration for other people whenever we said things to others. It won’t work all the time (people will still get hurt even we’ve tried not to hurt them), but the point is you don’t deliberately hurt others and learn from it when you do.

    Some tips though ,if you don’t really mean it or think that it was actually an unnecessary comment please refrain from throwing it out. Comments like “Kapan nikah?”, “Kapan nikah”, “Kamu gemukan ya?”, “Kok mamu kurusan?”, etc. Those kinds of comments mostly said with no real intention for an anwer or said with no real meaning to it. Unless you said it out of true concern or true interest then stop.

    As for when we’re at the receiving end, well we know that some people are just ‘destined’ to be a jerk. As long as you’re not one, you know that is not true and you have friends who truly care for you & know you for who you are then let it be. It’s not easy (I’m still working on it myself) yet that’s the best thing and the wise thing to do.

    😀

    Liked by 1 person

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