Out drinking with a few best friends, I threw a topic about our goals – what we want to be doing in the next 5 years. Everyone seemed to know where they were going, except for me.
So when it was my turn, I had to pause and think whether I should answer it diplomatically (I had a vague idea of what I want to do in the long run, but I didn’t know how to get there yet).
The question that struck me was: Why was I reluctant to talk honestly about my condition to some of my closest?
In a TED Talk, Guy Winch, a psychologist and an author, shared that we are practicing favouritism towards the body over the mind. We started caring about our gum health since we were children. We know that we have to cover that cut we have on our body so it doesn’t become infected.
Comes to psychological health, many of us don’t really know what to do when we are having psychological injuries, despite the numerous techniques available to cure psychological illness. We might not even realise that we are psychologically hurt.
With this in mind, I then ask myself:
- “Am I OK? Am I happy?”
- “Is what I am feeling true or is it just a made-up?”
- “Am I doing what matters to me?”
When answering these questions, we need to realise that we are often tricked by our mind. We all have a default set of feelings and beliefs – which are hard to be changed. Even those who claim to be open-minded have their own version of selective hearing. And, sometimes we made up a false image of ourselves, hurting ourselves without realising it.
“I like rainy days,” I told myself, taking a quick glance at the greyish sky through the glass separating the pool area and the humid air outside, swimming. The rain symbolised a time for a recharge, to pause my moment to see if I am actually, really, OK.
Perhaps, the fear that no one would care, that my weaknesses would be more publicly known than it already was, or, worse, that I did not have the answers to those 3 questions above was the main reason of my reluctance to be open, even to my closest friends. Or, maybe, it’s none of these.
Well, let’s not bore you with my self-talk and move the focus to: what will your answers be, if you ask yourself those 3 questions?