Before The Fire


There was no fear
There was no hate
There was no pain

But, one day, the fire lit
You burnt, you hurt
Yet you didn’t die
You remember
You just forgot how to let go

Years later, you were reminded
By strangers you don’t know
“How could they be so kind?” you think
And you cry, you feel again

That day, you become you again
Before the fire was lit

Incivility in Life

Incivility in Life

Rudeness in work is rampant, and it’s on the rise.

As I read this opening line in “The Price of Incivility: Lack of Respect Hurts Morale – and the bottom line” by Porath and Pearson in HBR’s 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence, I paused breathing for a moment.

It was shared in this research-based article that incivility can present itself in many forms, from insults, blame, belittlement, rudeness, door slamming, side conversation, exclusion, blatant disregards of people’s time, to a short check on your phone when someone else is presenting to you.

I couldn’t agree more. The conversations I had had with others, the incidents I had seen, the stories I had heard from many others, and the lessons I had learnt from my own experience suddenly hit me hard. They point me to the conclusion that rudeness in work – sorry, I meant, in life – is rampant, like the flowers blooming in the spring (except that one is not as favourable as the other – well, both are not favourable if you’re allergic to pollen or if you are a lonely hopeless romantic guy/girl).

Why would I say so?

Continue reading “Incivility in Life”

Being LOUD!

Being LOUD!

I might have been too loud. I caused, and probably will still cause, tension to arise.

Today, I get into a debate – I would call it a discussion, if the tone had been unassuming and non-judging – over Facebook France Filter. I was trying to say that people who use the filter shouldn’t be seen merely as people who only take advantages (read: creating a pretentious image) of the tragedy (of themselves), but also as people who, at least, learn about the tragedy (through the social media). Despite the fact that some prior tragedies were not covered and that some will go back to their original standing after some time passes, it can be seen as a starting step to break our current habits (and who knows some stuck with it).

Last week, I was in a meeting with friends. I understood that the intention behind the meeting was good, but I felt wrong about the reasoning. And there, I spilled it out. And, just a few days ago, I argue that joke about racism is not to be taken too lightly.

 

(All right, you caught me! I’m going to stop talking about myself from this point!)

 

The thing that I want to share is that conflicting emotions, uncomfortable situations will happen in our life, be it in our home, at our work, with our friends, etc.

Now, what should someone do about it?
Continue reading “Being LOUD!”

Being Selfish Doesn’t Mean Being A Backstabber


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I was at a nice restaurant with four of my closest friends from college. It had been years since the last time we gathered.

Everything was running well, at least until we came upon a topic about someone.


As architecture students, a friend of mine and I were tasked with designing a small religious building, which would be built on a remote area in the country. I was delighted to know that I could contribute something to the society.

But, I was soon to be disappointed as I was excluded from the project. She ran the project with some of my best friends. I knew they were doing THAT project! I came over to their desks and ask how they were doing. Yet she didn’t mention anything about why she went at it alone, leaving me out.

It was at the college, 6 years ago. But it feels as if my burning emotion has not calmed down. Continue reading “Being Selfish Doesn’t Mean Being A Backstabber”

Feel Like Punching Someone in The Workplace? Read On.


Can work be assumed as a major part of our life?

We spend a third of our life staying in the same space as our colleagues – some more familiar than others due to our own job nature.

If yes, as in all things in life, neutral condition hardly exists. At some points, it will – as everything would try reaching for equilibrium (fail, and it will crumble to pieces).

Only a few years into careers, I have encountered many new experiences, some good and some others nearly good. The experiences usually come from dealing with various tasks, projects, alongside different ‘partners’ (stakeholders, either team mates, cross divisional peers, leader, or vendors, etc.).

With the various kind of people existing, we are bound to bump into the ‘likable’ and ‘unlikable’ partners. Continue reading “Feel Like Punching Someone in The Workplace? Read On.”