Before The Fire


There was no fear
There was no hate
There was no pain

But, one day, the fire lit
You burnt, you hurt
Yet you didn’t die
You remember
You just forgot how to let go

Years later, you were reminded
By strangers you don’t know
“How could they be so kind?” you think
And you cry, you feel again

That day, you become you again
Before the fire was lit

On Psychological Well-being

On Psychological Well-being

Out drinking with a few best friends, I threw a topic about our goals – what we want to be doing in the next 5 years. Everyone seemed to know where they were going, except for me.

So when it was my turn, I had to pause and think whether I should answer it diplomatically (I had a vague idea of what I want to do in the long run, but I didn’t know how to get there yet).

The question that struck me was: Why was I reluctant to talk honestly about my condition to some of my closest?


In a TED Talk, Guy Winch, a psychologist and an author, shared that we are practicing favouritism towards the body over the mind. We started caring about our gum health since we were children. We know that we have to cover that cut we have on our body so it doesn’t become infected. Continue reading “On Psychological Well-being”

Incivility in Life

Incivility in Life

Rudeness in work is rampant, and it’s on the rise.

As I read this opening line in “The Price of Incivility: Lack of Respect Hurts Morale – and the bottom line” by Porath and Pearson in HBR’s 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence, I paused breathing for a moment.

It was shared in this research-based article that incivility can present itself in many forms, from insults, blame, belittlement, rudeness, door slamming, side conversation, exclusion, blatant disregards of people’s time, to a short check on your phone when someone else is presenting to you.

I couldn’t agree more. The conversations I had had with others, the incidents I had seen, the stories I had heard from many others, and the lessons I had learnt from my own experience suddenly hit me hard. They point me to the conclusion that rudeness in work – sorry, I meant, in life – is rampant, like the flowers blooming in the spring (except that one is not as favourable as the other – well, both are not favourable if you’re allergic to pollen or if you are a lonely hopeless romantic guy/girl).

Why would I say so?

Continue reading “Incivility in Life”

Being LOUD!

Being LOUD!

I might have been too loud. I caused, and probably will still cause, tension to arise.

Today, I get into a debate – I would call it a discussion, if the tone had been unassuming and non-judging – over Facebook France Filter. I was trying to say that people who use the filter shouldn’t be seen merely as people who only take advantages (read: creating a pretentious image) of the tragedy (of themselves), but also as people who, at least, learn about the tragedy (through the social media). Despite the fact that some prior tragedies were not covered and that some will go back to their original standing after some time passes, it can be seen as a starting step to break our current habits (and who knows some stuck with it).

Last week, I was in a meeting with friends. I understood that the intention behind the meeting was good, but I felt wrong about the reasoning. And there, I spilled it out. And, just a few days ago, I argue that joke about racism is not to be taken too lightly.

 

(All right, you caught me! I’m going to stop talking about myself from this point!)

 

The thing that I want to share is that conflicting emotions, uncomfortable situations will happen in our life, be it in our home, at our work, with our friends, etc.

Now, what should someone do about it?
Continue reading “Being LOUD!”

Those Blue Eyes


“Let’s get out of this town,” she told me quietly, after our long conversation.

Hours had passed by, but my attempts to read beyond her lips failed. The only thing I picked up was her wish to escape, to leave. I lost to her poker face, her naturally made-up act and always-on smiles.

They may say eyes are the window to the soul, but her beautiful blue eyes said nothing.

“Don’t run. Aren’t you tired of running away?” I tried to persuade her back into the common senses.

She shake her head, “No.” I stood there while she retreated into the void.

Keeping The Noise Out!

Keeping The Noise Out!

When was the last time you tuned out the outer world and just listen to your inner voices? And when was the last time even your inner voice discourage yourself from being fantastic?

I know a friend who was trying to shut out outsiders’ discouraging opinions about her, either it was that her dream job was unreachable, that she will need a long time before succeeding in that career, or that she was simply not fit for the job, the list goes on. She excelled in doing so, but yet to reach her dream.

Staying away from the discouraging opinions from others may help us being more confident of ourselves and enable us to take a leap of faith. However, Continue reading “Keeping The Noise Out!”

Frustrated, Mad, and Sad (on The Act of Commenting)

Frustrated, Mad, and Sad (on The Act of Commenting)

The firefighter sirens are ringing. Busy. Loud.

The chat between my colleagues and me comes to mind. We were talking about how different I dressed that day, better looking than usual. Exaggerating a bit, I went on blurting out “Oh, so I were ugly usually?” and “Fortunately, I don’t care what other says about me” lines (OK, the first line was pure kidding, although I forgot to thank her for her compliment!).

Being the wiser one, she said,

“Yes, that’s good. We should not let others’ comments bury us alive. We should do what we want, not what others want us to. But, don’t get it wrong, we should also be wise about that. It’s not like we should punch others just because we want to. And also, remember that not all comments are bad ones.”

Continue reading “Frustrated, Mad, and Sad (on The Act of Commenting)”